Sell A Cookie, Go to Jail - article 7

The federal government, by way of Michelle Obama or maybe it’s the other way around; is trying to introduce a child nutrition bill which will ban bake sales in schools.

Well, all I can say is…It’s about time. There has been such a focus on teacher layoffs, illiteracy and classroom overcrowding; that bake sales have been put on the back burner. Those homemade brownies and cookies, be they from scratch or a box, are straight from the devil. And don’t even get me started about Girl Scout cookies, specifically Thin Mints.

It’s good to know the federal government has decided to step in and regulate what we can and cannot eat and they’re starting from the ground up; first the kids and next it’ll be us grown people.

DEATH BY PC - article 6

In October of 2010, Juan Williams, a news analyst for NPR radio for 10 years, was fired. He was being interviewed by Bill O’Reilly, who coincidentally had his own kerfuffle on The View days earlier, causing Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar to walk out on the interview. O’Reilly was making a point about Muslims being behind the 9/11 attacks (ok, so…) and apparently he forgot to qualify the word Muslim, with the word extremist. Shortly after the incident on The View, Juan was on Bills’ show on Fox News Network and is quoted as saying the following:

"Look, Bill, I'm not a bigot. You know the kind of books I've written about the civil rights movement in this country. But when I get on the plane, I got to tell you, if I see people who are in Muslim garb and I think, you know, they are identifying themselves first and foremost as Muslims, I get worried. I get nervous."

Really? Really? I must be missing something but did we become so pc? (politically correct)

AND SO IT BEGINS - TWWW part 7

They came first for the Communists,and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.Then they came for the trade unionists,and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.Then they came for the Jews,and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.Then they came for meand by that time no one was left to speak up.
Believed to be quoted from by Pastor Martin Niemoeller


Morris sat in the waiting room. They were going to fly Stacey back for cremation. He was making the necessary phone calls. He found it curious how quickly things came together. The cremation would be the next morning. The service would take place the coming up Sunday. He was looking for numbers in his phone; did he tell the people he needed to about the service? Then his phone rang, Lance was calling again.

“Yes Lance.”

“I’m sorry Morris. I heard.”

(How’d the hell did you hear so fast) “Thanks.”

“So when you heading back?”

“I fly in this afternoon.”

“Can you come into my office tomorrow?”

“Lance I’ve had a really crappy day. I didn’t think I’d formally needed to ask for a few days off for bereavement.”

“You don’t,” Lance quickly answered, “It’s just for some paperwork. Of course I expect you to take time off.”

“Do you have any information on Walt? When I left he was in a pretty bad st…”

“He’s…huh, Walt passed away. He had bone cancer Morris; inoperable. It was just a matter of time.”

Morris thought, funny how Walt worked in a state of the art medical facility yet he couldn’t get any treatment for himself. No wonder he wanted to stick it to them in the end.

“Morris can you come in tomorrow around noon…Morris…Morris?”

SUGAR; the lonely woman's crack - Article 5

“Crack is whack” – Whitney Houston

It was one Sunday at midnight, so maybe it was Monday. The monkey was on my back and had been talking to me all night. I gave in. “What is open at this time”, I thought to myself. I got in my car and drove to an AM/PM mini market and gas station combination. I knew for a fact, they had the ice cream bar I was craving; chocolate on the outside, chocolate on the inside – I do not play.

It was a quick trip, in and out. I changed out of my house cloths and into my pajama’s, which I must admit there is little difference, and sat down to enjoy my treat.

As soon as I opened the box, I noticed a problem. Apparently, at some point the ice cream bar had melted completely and then froze again. It was a square frozen milky mess. The stick, the bar was to be held by, was completely enveloped in hodge podge of frozen brown stuff. I should have thrown the bar away. Instead I got a spoon, scraped away the frost-bite and dug in. My stomach began to gurgle and hum. I was assuming the bar had only melted and re-froze once. My taste buds told me I might be wrong. “What is this waxy film in my mouth?

HUSTLER FO REAL - Article 4

I am constantly amazed by the hustlers of the world. While my honest career efforts have been met with a sea of no’s and mocking, there is a population of people who by hook or by crook take the world by the balls. Hustler’s of the world stand up and take your places. I’m talking about the people who walk to the front of a long line saying, “You don’t mind do you? I just have one quick question.”

A hustler uses what they have. I have lived in my building for almost 3 years. My neighbor, lets call her Mary who has never asked my name, yet has asked me for the most ridiculous things like; telling me to decorate her windows by greeting me with a strings of Christmas lights and a chair with which to assist me in scaling the walls. She has asked me if I wanted to rent her cell phone for 3 months while she was out of the country. After only 2 weeks of living in the building, she asked for my work hours so I could take her to the airport as needed. She has an accent which fluctuates on thickness depending on her need. One day she came to me, with yet another ridiculous request. She was using the thicker accent on this day so she was barely understandable. She was talking really fast and my attempts to slow her down were ignored.

This is ‘the devil is in the details’ portion of the game. The idea is to move you so fast through something you say yes, without really understanding what you’re saying yes to. I told her “no, she was asking too much of me.” .She kept saying, “I don’t understand…I don’t understand”. I said, “Yes you do. You just don’t like what I’m saying.” It was like the wind got sucked out of her lungs. She threw her hands up and walked in her apartment. For the record, Mary has never approached me like that again. She did understand. Mary uses her age and her accent; positioning herself to seem helpless. Mary may be a lot of things, helpless is not one of them.

BLOOD IN, BLOOD OUT - TWWW part 6

“When a person becomes a member of a certain gang they must kill a designated person in order to join said gang (blood in) and the only way out of the gang is to die (blood out)” as quoted from the Urban Dictionary.



Xavier never liked being driven around. He liked being at the helm plus he never really trusted anyone. He no longer had a choice. A driver came and picked him up in the morning and took him home after training was done. A small black sedan, blacked out windows and door locks controlled from the front seat. Divider glass separated him from the driver, who was never very talkative. One day he went to a warehouse where he was instructed how to build a gun and how to take one apart from a man whose arms were bigger than most women’s hips. They couldn’t rest at his sides; they simply suspended themselves midway in the air. Xavier wondered how his big fingers could handle the intricate mechanisms of a gun.

On this day Xavier was led into an empty office. Aside from the fluorescents above, the only light came from a small window which offered a lovely view of a brick wall. The room had the bare minimum; a desk, a chair and a phone. The attending agent gave him a pen and a notepad with a list of names and numbers. Over the past two weeks since he joined the agency, aside from his driver, everyone was a new face. This agent didn’t give his name, most of them didn’t. He had a wedding band on, he was asian and middle-aged. His deep voice suggested he should have been working in voice-over’s rather then working for them. He told Xavier he would be his instruction for the next week – vocal coaching. “You have no Mexican accent. I’m going to teach you how to get it back along with a few other dialects. With your coloring you can pass for a couple of nationalities. But first you have to make a few calls. You are to tell them to meet you at the date, time and place listed on page 1. Get as many as you can to show up. Call extension 19 if you have any questions. There’s a bathroom behind the door on your left and don’t leave this room. Understand?”

“Yes. Hey, am I going to see agent Romulus…”

“Yes, later.”

The man walked out. Xavier recognized all the names on the list. He let out a deep sigh. This was the beginning of his initiation. There were their names and numbers along with the names and numbers of family, girlfriends, wives…anyone and everyone they may or may not remotely speak to on a regular basis. He made his first call.

ALMOST LIKE NEW, BUT NOT QUITE - article 3

I was at a non-church church get together and a couple of the young ladies were talking about their purity rings. For you non-Christians; a purity ring is when girls and guys (hello to the Jonas Brothers) pledge their virginity to God until they get married. I know this may seem like a daft concept to some people but waiting til marriage has many benefits. For instance:

1. You’re being obedient to our Heavenly Father.
2. No STD’s (but not necessarily if you’re doing everything but…)
3. Avoiding bitterness
4. It makes you smarter (It’s a proven fact that keeping your legs closed keeps your eyes and ears open – therefore your idiot radar stays intact.
5. You have more time for hobbies.
6. You have closer friendships – because you’re not relying on some fool that’s never gonna be right anyway cause he’s a selfish, self-serving… (see #3)
7. You maintain a good sense of self worth.
8. Your credit score stays higher.
9. (@ youngsters and 30 year old guys staying in mom and dad’s basement. No I am not judging you) You have better relationships with your parents because you’re not always lying about where you’ve been and who you were with and why you don’t have the same cloths on you were wearing when you left this morning.
10. You avoid that deep gapping hole, you try to fill with food or more sex, which comes from giving yourself away to some moron that wouldn’t know a treasure even if someone smacked him across the face with gold deblumes. (see #3)