PINK IS THE NEW BLACK - article #2

Recently, I was standing behind two young ladies in line. We were paying our entrance fee to get into the museum. The man behind the counter was extra attentive. He stood up to physically, and complete with plane landing gestures, direct the ladies to the exhibit. My turn came; I received very little eye contact, a forced smile and a very dry, “Go down the walkway, the elevator is out so take the stairs and it’s to the left.” “Thanks,” I said.
It turns out the ladies and I were going to the same exhibit. As I walked behind them, I noticed all the male attention they were getting. The men stopped in mid-stroll and said ‘hello’ as the ladies walked toward them, as opposed to after they had passed. Of course, there were the expected lingering glances to the ladies behinds. It must be nice I thought to myself. Please note; no attention was paid to my behind.
The cashier neglected to mention the stairs reached into the heavens. I stopped at the bottom of the 2+ story staircase. I looked up and contemplated if I really wanted to see this exhibit. After all, the children’s museum was open and it was on the ground level. This might be good, I can finger paint. I decided to put on my big girl panties; I took a deep breath, fully realizing it could be my last, and made my first step.
The young ladies were several steps ahead of me. They were giggling. Please note; I found their joy annoying. Oh and look...we passed yet another guy, offering them a full hearted greeting. I made it midway up the staircase, I paused to catch my breath. Then I saw what all the fuss was about.

Perhaps in one of the girl’s excitement in getting ready for her trip to the museum, she reached for her black footless pantyhose instead of her leggings. Her panties could be seen clearly through the material. The bold stripes spread from cheek to cheek. I can only imagine what was going on in the front; hopefully she shaved. Did she not feel a draft? Did she not feel a little too comfortable and free? Is this an act of rebellion against the establishment; wearing bikini bottoms in non-traditional situations. Are we going to start seeing women in meetings; drinking their caramel macchiato’s while wearing Ann Taylor blouses, polka-dot bikini bottoms and platform heels.
I have seen this several times since then and as recent as last night while I was waiting in line for a movie. I watched the gasps of other women and the grins and neck-snaps of the men. Is this some sort of new trend? Did I miss the memo…?

***FASHION FORCAST: ‘Ladies, everyone is so over the long tops. It’s all about wearing short t-shirts or tops over sheer black leggings. Don’t be shy girls, wear your most brightly colored, ridiculously patterned and no-where-near-your-skin tone panties. This fall, share your undergarments with the world. Let em’ see what you’re workin’ with.’ ***
Not to be all old and everything, but there was a time when all things below the waist were private. Discussing your va-jay-jay or putting it on display was considered unseemly, let alone flashing your clean shaven lady bits. (a la Lindsey or was it Britney or was it both) Now women are talking about their hoo-ha’s with reckless abandon. We’re discussing landing strips vs. having it waxed into the shape of a falling comet, bedazzling it and the never ending; should the carpet match the drapes debate. I guess times have changed. Young women are wearing shorts that should be panties and dresses so short, they’re only a breeze away from an indecent exposure violation.
I’ve also seen this trend at my job; unfortunately the ladies decided to go with thongs. Walking down the hallway, I watch guys trip over their feet, files dropping to the floor. “Let me help you”, she says as she stoops down to assist the clumsy young lad. What the….Are those really ass cheeks I’m looking at? Is this a truck-stop bar or an office?

A conservative co-worker of mine was lamenting of how hard it is to find a good man in L.A. She asked me, “Tracy why can’t I find a man?

Me: You should show your underpants.

Seriously, how is a woman with old school sensibilities to compete in this new brazen world? I wonder is it my responsibility to step up and speak to these young women about the impression they’re giving. I imagine how that would go…

Me: Excuse me. Do you know your underwear is showing?

Girl: At least it’s not my vagina.

Me: Oh. I didn’t realize it was an either, or.